ONE MORE WEEK...

OF SCHOOL!!! YEAH!!!

i am ready for the school year to come to an end...probably not as much as my kids though. :) i am ready to hit the river and relax with my family. i am not looking forward to sporting a bathing suit, but what the hell? i think you are expected to look like crap while floating the river. we shall be gone just a short few days then back to work and school.

bryan is busy getting contracts signed by all his production growers and doing field inspections. he is pretty much into full swing and it will only get busier from here on out.

braxtyn will be enjoying most days home with me. i am looking forward to spending some quality time together and hitting up some fun spots along the way. she will be going to school 1 to 2 days a week to spend time with her friends while i am hitting the books.

i will be starting my graduate work this summer. i am excited and scared all at the same time. hopefully i will gain lots of helpful knowledge that will be put to good use. next year at school, i will be teaching 3rd english language arts/reading. sadly though, my buddy traci, is moving to 4th grade. i will miss her being next door. it will be a change, but i will make it through.

so for now...i shall finish up my last week of school...bryan shall continue to get contracts and field inspections done....braxtyn shall continue being the little chicken nugget she is :)

pictures to come once we get back from the river :)

update on dad

okay, to say the least...we have been pretty busy here lately. i have been horrible at updating anything! i know many of you keep up with dads progress thru this blog and i havent been keeping up with it. so.....here it goes...

dads neighbors have been taking very good care of him...one neighbor got a motorized wheelchair donated to him and another neighbor is letting him borrow his golf cart so that he can get around their property. he is super excited to get out of the house and around.

he had a follow up with his surgeon this past week and everything is looking good. his incision sight is closing up nicely and is about 1/2 way closed up from where it began. he is still on the wound vac due to all the fuild still being produced. hopefully within the next 2 months he will be able to get on the vac...something i know he is looking forward too.

my uncle jr, dads oldest brother, has been coming up to help out as much as he can around the house. we are all very thankful for him. :)

dad has also been out driving, which is another great motivation for him. he doesnt do much, but the little he does makes him feel good that he is able to do things for himself.

he has been getting the travel trailer ready for our family river trip in 2 weeks. we are all excited to leave work behind and relax on the river. my sister and her kiddos will be there, my uncle jr & aunt margaret, mom & dad, amy and us 3 will be there. i am looking forward to spending time with them all.

so overall, dad is improving slowly each day and he seems to be in good spirits. things are moving forward with his lawsuit & hopefully justice will be served to those who overlooked the cancer for so long.

and all the random inbetween...

i forget to update the blog...so here are some pics of the last few weeks/months ;)

better yet...check out my facebook page....

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/deahenson

sorry for being lazy :)

Braky & her big girl haircut

the before....

my absolute fav pic!!!


she was such a big girl and did a great job...overall about 4 inches off

dusty kept trying to get her to look down...she wasnt going for it...we sat there with out phones showing her pics

A few days with Kenadi

James & Tiff spent a few days in Vegas this past week and we kept Kenadi. The girls were super excited to spent so much time together. :)

Relaxing before bed...watching dora

and munching on some popcorn

laying together the next night before bedtime

notice the dora & boots....brax is on a mission to find some for herself

Birthday Dinner

We went 50 Yard Line for my b-day dinner. Brax loves the soup...she calls it her coffee. :)


Sitting with daddy...

Birthday dessert...i told her to stick her tongue out and she did until bryan snapped the pic...then i got the wierdo look

finally some love

braky drove us home :)

Clay Cafe

For my birthday this year, I wanted to take Braky to Clay Cafe to make me a special gift. She wanted to color a frog (she remembered from last time we were there) and I wanted a zebra foot print. She really likes going here and has so much fun!

Painting her foot for the zebra print...

and the final zebra print

update on dad

sorry for not being a better updater...i have been super busy this week at school....so here we go....

dad is still in the hospital, as of today his drs said that on friday he might get to move back over the rehab facility. they want him to get up and walk before they move him and he hasnt been able to accomplish that yet.

you might want to know what has happened in the past week, huh? on friday they went back and took out the whole hip replacement along with some more of his pelvis...they are not going to replace it either. odd? yes...his right femur was placed back up into the hip area with hip to connect to...girdlestone resection arthroplasty...is the procedure they performed. this is used with a hip replacement is rejected by the body. his right leg will be bout 3 inches shorter and only held in place by his muscles, which overtime will grow harder to secure his femur.

this was a lot to handle and accept...i know for me...i cant imagine what he went through. they have a wound vac system in place on his incision. i havent been back down there so i only giving you info that i was given. from what i understand, there is a sponge in the area and every other day they must take it out and replace it with a new one. in between, from what i understand, they are hooking the vac part up and sucking out all the yuck.
a wound care specialist came in talked to dad yesterday about the infection that caused this to happen. it was a big long word and sorry i cant remember it, but basically it was a fluke. bad timing, bad matchup...no explanation as to why it got infected.

i know monday was a very rough day for him, but the past 2 days have brought better times for him. he wears his feelings on his sleeve here lately...i can tell how his day is going just by talking to him. he doesnt want to lead on that anythingis wrong, but he isnt very good at hiding it. needless to say...i would much rather him in a good spirits.

he is getting his heels rewrapped right now...the bed sores are healing well. hopefully he will begin gaining back strength and will be able to thrive at rehab.

we are headed down friday after school and thank god next week is spring break...i am ready to go see him!

my sweet little braky bear

it seems like the past month has been living in hell...so many things have gone wrong with my dad and it changes everything for everyone. thankfully through this all i have had bryan and braxtyn...ahhh...love them! bryan has been very supportive of me and my mood swings...braxtyn has been somewhat less supportive...but that little nugget has her own way of being supportive.
bryan has been gone every other week the past 6 weeks which has added more stress for me. even though i would much prefer him here...things have been going okay for braxtyn and me. she has her moments when i want to leave her on the curb while driving home. you know...when she is screaming at me to tie her shoe while i am driving, or the sun is in her eyes, or the music she wants to listen to isnt available, or when she wants her pacificer....despite all the bad moments she is such an angel :)
i always sing hush little baby, twinkle twinkle little star and abc's to her each night. last night when i was at my worst after a day from hell...she ran to get in bed and here is our conversation...
me: wait i want to hold you
brax: you want to hold me?
i gave her a big hug...you know the kind...where you hold on and never want it to end...she pats my back and sits up to give me a kiss and we say i love you
she was over the mushiness rather quickly and told me she wanted to lay in bed
so our routine continues...i sing hush little baby, twinkle twinkle little star and abc's just like i do every night
i lean in to give her a kiss and i whisper..i love you braky bear
brax, also whispering: i love you mommy
me: night, night baby...see you in the morning
brax: night night mommy
she makes everything worthwhile:)

out of surgery

dad went back for surgery at 4:30 today...took 2 hours...dr williams came out to talk to my mom around 6:30. he said everything went fine and he is doing fine in recovery. he should back in his room around 9...i cant wait to talk to him

and the story continues and yet...still no good news

so apparently my last post was filled with a little too much hope :( after getting a more elaborate explanation of tomorrows procedure plan 1 isnt even a plan! they are going in tomorrow, sometime, to remove every piece of hip replacement they put in on Feb 11. damn it, damn it, damn it!!!!!
now, i am not in the medical profession so i dont completely understand what they are exactly doing...so i hope you can follow me...they are removing all the hardware they used to do the hip replacement, there is apparently still some cancerous cells that were missed so they are cutting off more of his pelvis. they are going to clean everything up to hopefullly get all the bacteria out. his femur bone will be placed up in the hip area and his muscles will be tightly stitched together in order to hold it in place. he will have to use a cane to walk...he will have movement over his ankle...his right leg will be 3 inches shorter than his left and he will have to lifts put on every shoe.
even typing this out doesnt make anything make more sense...i am still so confused and so mad that we are here! what makes me the maddest is that all of his setbacks have been at the hands of the hospital staff. surgery #2 on Feb 19- correct dislocated hip due to pt pulling it out and now surgery #3 due to an infection at the hads of the nursing staff...and you ask why is it their fault? how could you put blame on someone for an infection? easy...he does not have a staff infection which is good news...he has an infection that comes from fecal matter. now why in the world is this even possible? i know i am probably sharing way too much but...due to the surgeries and all the meds they have been filling him up on laxatives...guess what people...the shit will eventually come out!!!!! after asking for assistance because he knew what he needed to do...the assistance offered wasnt much. needless to say, it was a mess and this happened more than once!
i know from personal experience that all medical staff will tell you, aww...the incision looks great! youre doing good! well guys...looking at something from the outside doesnt mean shit! the infection is always within. they sent dad over to the rehab facility with him under then notion that everything looked great, when underneath it was all unraveling. we had hopes of packing the incision in order to heal it. then we thought they might reinsert a drain. it didnt even cross our minds, well...atleast mine, that they would end up taking it all out.
i knew the option of the removal of his leg was always a possibility i just hoped that wouldnt have to happen. at this point...anything is possible and i hate that!!!!
i cant imagine what is going thru his mind...i cant imagine what is going thru my own mind. i know he will wake up tomorrow...he will be here...i just cant help but be scared for him. i know that he is physically going thru all of this and i cant imagine the emotionally hell he is in right now. i just want my dad...plain and simple...i just want my dad

what is exactly is the path?

i know that god has a plan for all of us, but come on now...what else can this man go through????

the cultures came back on dad's incision drainage...positive for infection

so today...day 21 since his orginal surgery, he was admitted back into the hospital and will undergo surgery yet again! count them people...3 surgeries in 3 weeks!!!!

first plan...clean out all infection and hope for the best

second plan...if infection is unable to be completely cleared, then they must redo the whole hip replacement, so again more surgeries and more risk for things to continue to go wrong

third plan...if nothing else works, the only other alternative is to remove his leg :(

i just wish things would go right...i know that he can get through the physical part of all this crap..i just dont know how he will mentally get through it all...

another weekend gone by

goodness...time is going by so fast here lately! bryan has been out of town every other week the past 4 weeks and he heads out tomorrow again. :( inbetween all his travel we have managed to go down to see my dad last weekend and this weekend i went down all by myself. i havent traveled by myself in many years...it was strange. not only that, i have spent very few nights away from brax.
i went down thrusday after school to spend some time with dad. i got to the rehab facility around noon on friday. i walked in right behind him coming back from physical therapy. he was braced up and in his wheelchair. as he started taking the front part of the brace off, he noticed that his incision was leaking. leaking would give you thought of a little bit...it was more of a gush. thankfully his nurse got him over into wound care fairly quickly and was seen by a dr. as for right now, we are just changing the dressings every 2-3 hours in hopes that the drainage will stop. he goes over to see the surgical team on monday for a followup.
the rehab facility has an onsite wound care center and he will go back over there on tuesday and then again on thursday. they are seeing him for the drainage at the incision sight as well as the bed sores on his heels. everything seems to progressing along the recovery path...at times it takes a detour, but slowly he is getting there.
since bryan flies out in the morning, my week will be hectic yet again. i cant wait for everything to get back to normal! good news is that spring break is only 2 weeks away! a much needed break. we will head back to san antonio on the 13th in order to spend dads birthday with him. we are hoping that he will be able to go home by then. :)
so...there is an update...i am exhausted! i left san antonio saturday night at 10 and drove back to lubbock. i got in this morning at 4. i only had 2 stops. the first one outside of san angelo because a dps thought i needed to slow down. he was super nice and just gave me a warning...i was so glad he was so nice and only clocked me at 72 instead the 85 i was going! my next stop was in big spring to fill up my poor baby hummer. my poor baby was subjected to abuse over the weekend. it is coming up on 4 years old with only 24000 miles and it sleeps in the garage every night! i am sure it is in shock and is enjoying being back home. a 1000 miles in a weekend is way too much for it!

Monday...day 12

We had to leave yesterday and make our way back to Lubbock. I really wanted to stay with dad, but I think he is doing okay and I will be back down there this weekend.

Before we left yesterday one of his drs came in and let him sit up in his bed. He was so excited to get to move! I talked with him today and they were planning to get him up walking today...another very exciting step he was more than ready to make. I don't think that he officially got to walk but he was moved into a wheelchair and was able to get out of the room for awhile.

Last night, while getting up to go potty he pulled out one of his drains. This morning when the dr came in they took out the 2nd one and had hopes of removing the 3rd one today. Another step in getting him mobile. With the great steps he has taken over the past few days the drs are hopeful he will be moving to the rehab facility soon.

I was glad that we were there to spend time with him. I saw him actually smile and there was even a laugh! He had gotten Braxtyn a singing monkey for Valentine's Day and when she opened and pushed the button..her face was full of surprise! I am so glad that he was able to smile...it has been a long time since I seen that.

I was very happy before we left yesterday that we were able to get him an air bed to help with his bed sores that were beginning to form. I spoke with him today and he seemed to be in good spirits. I can't wait to get back down there!

here we go again...

I finally got to san antonio to see my dad on friday morning just in time to see things fall apart before my very eyes. physical therapy had been in once that morning to get him up and walking and during the second try...they really f@#% ed him up! his brace is a very large contraption and requires a lot of effort to get it on correctly. the two girls that came in had not been in to help him before and it was quite obvious. during previous pt times two men came in and helped him get up and then get the brace on...these girls had another plan.

while one of them helped him roll to his left side, the other held his right leg. between the two of them they were successful in pulling his new hip out of socket. i stayed in the room since i hadnt been here and i wanted to know what was involved so i witnessed the whole thing. it so wasnt anything that anyone should have to see their dad go thru...i cant imagine the immense pain he was in.

while we were waiting for them to come get him for surgery, one of the drs came to talk to us. i know that carrie, my sister, had been living through this for weeks now and took everything in. i on the otherhand, live 5 hours away and i have the distance to help me..but on thursday everything began to hit home for me. once talking to the dr everything came into perspective. my dad had chondrosarcoma, cartlidge cancer in his right hip joint. upon getting into the surgery going after the initial tumor, they tested his blood marrow and saw that there was still cancerous cells there. they then had to cut away all his butt muscles to get to the back of his pelvis for the other tumor. so...the hip popping out made sense.

basically, his whole right side had been cut through and only staples and sutures were holding him together. his pelvis was removed on the right side and cadaver bone replaced it, a steel ball atop a steel rod replaced filled in the new socket. it is such a hard concept to grasp for me still. with all of this work done...he is so lucky to be at this point. given the severity of the cancer and placement he is so lucky to be able to still have his leg. the dr told us most doctors would have done the replacement surgery, they would have only taken his leg off.

so...at 5:30 last night they took him back down to the or to put his hip back in place. with any luck they would be able to pop it back it without having to open him up. well, after over an hour in the OR we were thinking that an easy fix wasnt an option. a little over 2 hours after going in, dr williams came out. they were able to pop his hip back in quite easily and decided due to the swelling to open it back up. they were able to take almost a liter of fluid away from the incision sight.

so overall, he went through a lot of pain and had to go back into surgery but hopefully that will all get everything on the right track. with removing the fluid, they are hoping that everything will go back together in less time. another drawback is that after surgery last night he will remain in his brace at all times. talk about uncomfortable...a hard plastic brace to lay on...yay! he is starting to develop bed sores on the heels of his feet. they brought a special little boot to help keep him from applying pressure to it.

on a very good note, friday night was the best night he had in a long time. somehow we got him comfortable physically and mentally. he is on the road to recovering after traveling through hell on friday and we are hoping for the best. :) the drs think he might be able to leave the hospital and go to the rehab facility by wednesday.

i cant imagine the pain he has gone through physically as well as mentally...i am so glad he is going to a rehab that can help him with both.

i have been up here with him all day and he is starting to drift off for the night. we are waiting for his next round of pain meds and then hopefully he will be out for a good while sleeping peacefully.

Total Hip Replacement

His surgery was a very long process today...8:30-5:30...9 whole hours. The drs removed his whole right hip and pelvis along with 2 cancerous tumors, one of which they didn't even know about. He lost over 2 liters of blood and has gone through one transfusion today and he is still in the recovery room until his blood pressure comes up.
mom and carrie got to go back and see him around 8:30 this evening. carrie reported that he was doing okay, very swollen and still very out-of-it. mom on the otherhand, ended up laying in the hallway trying not to pass out. she just cant take the smell of ether :(

i think through all his surgeries, the times after the surgery are always the most memorable.
after his lower back fusion last christmas, he told me that his drs name was Dr. Zantac :)
today this was the conversation between my sister and him...pretty funny :)

dad...i hear they tape your eyes shut during surgery
carrie...yes, they do
dad...are my eyes still taped?
carrie...well, can you see me?
dad...yea, and i dont even need my glasses

I will be leaving after school next Thursday to go see him once he gets home and if any of you know me at all...i will totally give a hard time about that conversation. :)

i am very much a daddy's girl and i have truely appreciated everyones concern and prayers!

Surgery Scheduled

My dad had his follow-up today and good news was heard! The cat scan showed no other cancer within his body...it is only in his hip. When I called around 6, they were still in San Antonio. He was getting "fitted" for a cast. As we speak, there is a place in New Jersey getting a hip in route to Texas for him. He will undergo a right hip replacement on February 11th. The dr said he will be in surgery for about 6-7 hours and then will stay in the hospital for about 5 days. I am sure he is super excited to come home in a body cast. :) I am just relieved that there is a solution within his reach and he will soon have no more pain.
I talked to him after they left the drs office and he said he would rather we come down once he gets home. I have been there to see him off to surgery for every major one he has had...this will be the first pre-op visit I will miss. That worries me some, but I do have to admit that I would rather be at home with him than in a hospital with Braxtyn. I bet he would like to remember us being there too. Plus Bryan will be in Memphis the week of his surgery, so it would be better on us all to have Bryan there too.
Overall...I can breathe a sigh of relief for now and hopefully before too long Dad can too! :)

The Story of the Lost Eye...yes, I said EYE!!!

This morning the office called over the speaker for a child in my class to come to the office to call her mother asap. Ok, so let's call her J, goes down to the office. She comes back a few minutes later and approaches me at my table.

J...do you know why i had to call my mom?

me...no, why?

J...my mom was crying because her eye fell out

me...WHAT??? her eye fell out?

J...very calm...yea

me...what do you mean? is she okay?

J..yea, she is fine she just cant find it

me...WHAT?!?!? she can't find it? how did she lose it?

j...i dont know

me...i dont understand. has this happened before? why can't she find her eye? is it a real eye?

j...yea, it has come out before and she thought i had it...and yes it is real?

i am getting more confused as this conversation goes on and yet i continue...

me...are you sure her eye is real?

j...well, she was shot along time ago and it is kinda real and kinda not

me...okay, so her eye comes out and that is normal and she thinks you have it? why would you have it?

j....i dont know, but i dont have it

me...well i hope she finds it and is okay

This by far is the strangest conversation I have ever had!!! Now, J is identified as special ed and is fairly slow with most things. So here I am thinking that she is just confused herself. To make things more confusing...i have met her mother on several occasions and it is hard not to notice the "crazy eye" which i thought was a real eye. It looks off to who knows where and anyone would think that she had a lazy eye or as I labeled it "crazy". Now, someone explain to me why her fake eye is not focused forward? Why would you have a fake eye that looked off to who knows where? Isn't the point to make it unnoticable?

J is a pretty funny gal and she laughed throughout of conversation and I tried hard to keep it all in. Afterall, I was the adult in the room and there were 17 other pairs of eyes watching me.

When I was sharing this conversation with my teaching buddies another funny story was brought up.

Yesterday, we all received an email to check in a students backpack for something his mother was looking for. Now....what in the world would we say to an email that read like this?

Can you please look in J's backpack from her mother's eyeball?

HAHAHAHAHAHA

The Here and Now

We found out this week that my dad has cancer...chondrosarcoma to be exact. Cancer always just sounds bad, doesn't it? Whenever I hear someone has cancer you naturally feel bad for them, but somehow I feel just the opposite and it's my dad. How you ask? Well...over the past five years my dad has endured some very scary surgeries and this just, in my mind, doesn't compare. I remember finishing up my first year teaching and leaving the last day to get down to San Antonio for his first big surgery. He became the owner of new steel rod along with 6 screws in his neck. This was the first big surgery that anyone close to me had gone through and it was my dad...we are very close. I remember getting to Kerrville the night before and getting up super early to drive to San Antonio. The surgery seemed to take forever and waiting in a hospital isn't exactly the most comfortable place. Just the fact that they were working so close to his spine and spinal cord, I think was the most scary part. He came through great and healed faster than expected. :) Over the next few years he had various surgeries...his knee, his shoulder, his nose. All relatively minor and he came through just fine.

A few weeks before Thanksgiving in 2008 things started going down a different route. He was stricken with severe sudden pain and was unable to walk. He hadn't been 'right' for months due to an injury at work and was getting the run-around by workers comp. He took a ride in the ambulance and after many, many doctor visits they made the decision to undergo surgery to fuse his lower back. Again working wth his spine, you can't help but keep the thought of being paralyzed in the back of your mind. So for Christmas last year, we loaded up and headed to Dallas for his surgery. I think was sticks with me the most about this particular surgery is the way I saw my dad. I think that is the most important thing for me to see that he was in need of something more than surgery. He and mom do not have a great relationship...hell, it would be a stretch to say they do not have a good relationship. For many years I have wondered how they stay together. My dad has always been a hard physical worker and with all the limitating factors he was encountering over the years, he became unable to do all those things he used to. It is only normal to become depressed when your whole life has changed against your will and you don't have your wife to express your emotions to. Anyway, while in Dallas my dad talked freely about things, mostly because of the meds, but I did learn lots of things. Mostly that he needed help...

So over the past year we have all been dealing with our 'family drama' in our own ways. I live 6 hours away and that alone provides me with distance from it all. My oldest sister, Carrie, wears her heart on her sleeve and it is beginning to take a toll on her. My other sister, Amy, basically rolls with punches. I have always wondered how she internalizes stressful situations. My mom...big sigh...I have always wondered with her as well about how she internalizes anything. The two of us couldn't be more opposite. I rarely understand why she does the things she does. Let's just say that my mom really isn't the talking type. If she is mad, she yells her opinion or opts for silence...there is no negotiation. I can't remember the last time we visited my parents and she and I did not get into a fight. It is just stressful thinking about visiting. In my opinion, I think my parents should have divorced atleast 1o years ago, but instead they opted to move to Kerrville for a fresh start. Well guy...this plan sucks! Nothing good has happened since the move and things have yet to change.

So this brings us to the present...January 2010...and the word...cancer
My dad's right hip has been hurting for months now and since he has been the care of a workers comp doctor, things haven't been handled very well. To make things worse, since he hasn't been working for over a year, my dad's life is fulfilled with phone calls, notes, papers, mri's, catscans, phone calls, paper....do you get it? He is completely comsumed by all the medical stuff. He spends everyday thinking about all the things he can't control and it is taking its toll. We have spent the past couple years worried about his physical health, but it is so apparent now that we should be focusing on this mental health.


So Carrie calls me and tell me that the results are in and she has special privileges of seeing them before his doctors appt on Friday. Dad was aware that this could be a possibility and we asked him if he wanted Carrie to look...he never really gave a straight answer. So I told Carrie I would call him to see how he was doing and if Carrie was going to look at the results. He quickly saw right through me and asked me what I knew. So I told him everything Carrie had told me and we began looking online for answers.

Chondrosarcoma, cancer of the cartlidge. It is the 2nd most come bone cancer, but yet is still quite rare. Only 1% if bone cancer is primary and he fell right into that 1%. Surgery would be necessary due to the fact that sarcoma does not respond to chemo or radiation. Okay, surgery...we've done this before. And since they it was a Grade 1...there was a 90% chance that once removed, it would not return. Great! Due to the fact that he had been so proactive on his healthcare the past few years we are hopeful that there are no other areas infected, we hope this will be confirmed with a full body bone scan.
He met with the doctor on Friday and they gave a more personalized treatment plan. Due to the positioning of the tumor they will most likely be performing a hip replacement. In the few weeks he will be meeting with a sarcoma specialist in San Antonio and hopefully his surgery will be underway before too much longer.
So another surgery is needed, the word cancer is being used and yet I am totally okay with it. We have a solution to the physical pain he has been in for months and it is treatable. Sounds great to me! I just hope that once his is recovering physically that we can work on him mentally too and get my dad back. I need him, Braxtyn needs him, Lauryn, Meagan, Carlie, Chase, Carrie, Amy, Mom...all need him. We all want him to get better and be in a happy place!

I LOVE YOU DAD!!!